


Burning for You

by shaypotter



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, F/M, First Kiss, Make Outs, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 07:21:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16760560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaypotter/pseuds/shaypotter
Summary: Jester’s eyes dart around the room, as if to ensure no one is near, and then she whispers in a volume pitched so low that only Caleb can hear, “Will you make out with me?”





	Burning for You

“Caleb?” 

The wizard in question glances up from the worn and molding tomb he’s had his nose crammed in for the last few hours. What greets him is the soft face and sparkling eyes of a blue tiefling, one he’s come to know quite well in their time together. A part of him softens ever-so-slightly as he allows himself a brief moment of searching her small frame. She’s back in her favorite dress, the flowing blue one with pink embellishments all along the edges. Caleb fights back a smile as he realizes she’s mended the edges that had been torn during their battles earlier that day. 

Caleb sits up a little straighter, back cracking as he expands aching muscles. He imagines that he’s been hunched over his books for an inordinate amount of time and doesn’t mind the interruption, especially when it’s Nott or Jester doing the interrupting. He’s not sure when the tiefling woman had moved out of ‘pest’ and into the same category as Nott, but he finds he isn’t too concerned about the change. 

Jester doesn’t wait for an invitation and settles herself on the seat next to him. Her ungraceful, hurried movements mean that she bumps her shoulder and side into his own, causing his breath to stutter for just a moment. Jester only giggles in response and snuggles up closer into his side. The idea that someone can touch him so easily and openly still thrills him after all his time with the Nein. He had spent a very long time alone, and before that, touches for kindness or comfort were not common. To bring pain, perhaps. But never for comfort. 

Caleb feels ghosts of memories licking at the back of his mind. Sitting for hours crammed next to Astrid, piles of books scattered across the table in front of them, candles burning low and intimate as he spent hours at her side. Astrid on her knees next to him as a whip dug into their skin with Trent lecturing of their greater purpose. Caleb blinks harshly and suddenly he’s back in the tavern and Jester is at his side, not Astrid. 

Jester is leaning her elbows against the table and props her chin against a hand, staring up at Caleb with that unreadable expression. Caleb is preparing for some inappropriate question or perhaps a dick joke to come out of his friend’s mouth, but instead Jester continues her silent pondering. It’s extremely unnerving sitting in total silence with Jester but Caleb resists the urge to push her to speak. 

Just as he is getting ready to turn back to his reading the tiefling nibbles at her bottom lip and leans in conspiratorially. He copies her movements and feels a flicker of a smile tug at the edge of his mouth. Jester’s eyes dart around the room, as if to ensure no one is near, and then she whispers in a volume pitched so low that only Caleb can hear, “Will you make out with me?”

Caleb rears back as quickly as he had leaned in, choking on nothing and sputtering loudly in the calm interior of the tavern. A few patrons shoot curious glances at their huddled forms but eventually go back to their own drinks and conversations, finding the haggard looking wizard and blue tiefling not interesting enough to hold their attention. 

“What?” he hisses back. His brain feels like it’s stuttering to a stop, repeating her words over and over in that lilting accented voice. _“Will you make out with me? Will you make out with me? Will-”_ He finally grabs her shoulder with his hand, ignoring the heat of her radiating through the fabric of her dress. “Are you _insane?”_ Caleb begins scolding her in Zemnian, feeling disbelief and the urge to yell at her wrestling within him. Jester ignores his mumbled Zemnian and rolls her eyes so hard Caleb is impressed that her eyes still have a home within her skull. 

“Cay- _leb,_ ” Jester begins with a fond smile, shaking her head like he’s said something particularly amusing or silly. Caleb wonders what sort of world he lives in when someone propositing him to - to, be intimate in some form can laugh like he’s the outrageous one. “It won’t mean anything. I’ve only been kissed by Fjord, you know, in the water, and I had this idea that I would figure out if it meant anything by trying it with someone else. And see, Beau isn’t my type, but then I remembered, hey, Caleb had a lover and is very handsome!” 

Caleb is struck silent. His brain shorts out, his heart begins a quick dance in his chest as his fingers tighten their grip against Jester’s shoulder. She’s insane. Absolutely out of her mind. But in the brief moments of his surprise, before reality sets in… He finds himself considering what it would be like to kiss her. 

It’s not as though she wouldn’t be pleasant to kiss. Jester is a whirlwind but when she’s finally still enough to catch a proper glance she is truly one of the most stunning people he’s ever seen. Her striking color, her brightly glowing eyes, and the freckles delicately scattered across her cheekbones and nose… Yes, Caleb has noticed quite a few things in regard to her beauty. And all that is without considering her kind heart and mischievous nature. But in a kiss… She’d likely be demanding and forceful, even with her inexperience. Caleb’s cheeks heat as he imagines the sounds she would make if given the chance. She’s passionate in most situations let alone something like… Kissing. 

Jester opens her mouth to add more and Caleb places a hand hurriedly over her mouth. He’s not sure what else she could add to her argument but he already feels the warmth burning at his cheeks. He’s not sure how much more he can take before his imagination catches the best of him. “Nien. No. We are not - _you and I_ \- that is ridiculous.” He can hear the edge of panic in his voice and Jester’s eyes soften into understanding. She nods against his hand, shoulders slumping. He pulls his hand away, curious if this is a manipulation tactic or trick, but Jester merely looks resigned. 

“Okay Caleb. I’m sorry… I just…” her eyes drop to her lap, her small hands twisting tightly in her lap. It’s the first time in a while he’s seen her drop the defense of a cheerful smile and Caleb is surprised at the amount of pain it brings him. His own heart aches as she so obviously struggles to keep it together. “I just feel so confused. And inexperienced, and... stupid.” She falls silent again, eyes teary, before she forces a smile across her full lips. “But no means no, and I would never want to make you uncomfortable. You’re too important for that.” Jester pats him gently on the shoulder and stands. “Goodnight Caleb,” she mumbles quietly as she retreats to the stairs.

\---

Caleb lays in his darkened room with Nott, the sounds of her familiar snores from the bed next to his own feeling more grating than comforting tonight. His goblin friend had drank herself unconscious, as usual, and fallen asleep well over an hour ago. Hours had passed since his conversation with Jester (three hours, sixteen minutes, and twelve seconds) and yet Caleb has found it difficult to sort through the painful knots in his stomach. He was doing the right thing by denying Jester. She was young, possibly in love with Fjord, and having a man like himself be intimate with her in any form certainly wasn’t going to help. 

Not to mention Caleb hadn’t kissed anyone since Astrid. Nor desired anyone. It would be awkward to kiss Jester as beautiful as she may be. A tiny part of him whispers back, _“You’d be doing her a favor. Show her that her feelings for Fjord mean more than an empty kiss.”_ He resists the urge to groan, but finds that small part of him is rather convincing. It was logical in a terrible sort of way. Kissing Caleb would help her sort her feelings. She’d feel nothing but a hint of enjoyment that could come from kissing, but it would lack the romance and magic she’d been searching for ever since picking up Tusk Love. It really wouldn’t be a huge deal, especially if it was as bad as he expected it to be. 

Caleb huffs a quiet breath into the darkness of his room before hoisting himself out of bed. He’d at least go to Jester and tell her he would consider it. He would set rules, and explain the way things would work, before anything of the kissing variety would be allowed. And possibly apologize for hurting her feelings the way he had earlier in the night. Jester had always talked matter-of-factly about sex and the intimate things she’d seen living in her mother’s home. She had even propositioned to teach most of the Nein about sex. She probably hadn’t expected such an intense denial from Caleb. 

It was with these thoughts that he slips out of his own room and into the low lit hallway. Jester and Beau had chosen a room two down from his own to bunk for the night which made his quiet trek feel much too short. Caleb lifts his hand, hesitating for a moment, before softly rapping at the door. He can hear the sound of movement faintly from beyond the wood, and the quiet cursing of someone sounding like they’d stumbled on a piece of furniture. The door opens a moment later, revealing an empty room and a half-asleep Jester. 

“Caleb? Are you alright, why are you here?” Jester blinks a few times, her dark vision adjusting to the soft glow of the lanterns placed every few feet in the hall. Caleb had prepared what he was going to say, the charming words he would use to smooth over the hurt from earlier, but found the words would not quite make their way out. No, instead he was swallowing hard against them, distracted by the gauzy looking nightgown Jester wore to bed. Her blue skin was just visible enough under the sheer fabric to throw his brain entirely off track. What eventually manages to escape his closed throat is, “Where is Beauregard?” 

Jester’s face scrunches in confusion as she steps even further into the hallway, shutting the door softly behind her as she watches him with growing concern. “She met someone earlier and told me not to wait up before leaving the tavern mouth and mouth with some half-orc lady.” Jester rolls her eyes and smiles fondly thinking of their friend. “Why? What’s wrong Caleb, you’re freaking me out.” 

Caleb searches for the right words. What had he come to tell her? He swallows again and takes a deep, steadying breath. “Liebling, do not speak or I might change my mind,” he warns quietly in a voice that doesn’t sound much like his own. He can already feel doubt tugging at his heart even as he leans in to press his lips against Jester’s. It feels awkward and disjointed to kiss someone who isn’t expecting it and Caleb shifts his head slightly to make the experience more comfortable for them both. His kiss begins slowly, almost chastely, but his control rapidly slips as Jester recovers from the confusion and responds with all the enthusiasm of someone who has never been properly kissed. 

Unthinkingly, his hands drop to her waist, gripping at her hips and bunching the soft fabric of her nightgown between his fingers. He squeezes her once in an effort to anchor himself to something real, something here, as his mind grows fuzzy. Her own hands slowly move to twist around his neck, pulling him even closer into her space. 

Caleb forgets that he’d intended to keep this simple. To keep it fast, to show her that kissing someone with feelings is so very different than just kissing someone to kiss... But all those thoughts have vanished with the warmth of her body on his. A groan slips out of Caleb’s throat as he carefully guides her to press against the door. Jester releases a tiny surprised sound into his mouth that makes something deep inside him spark and catch aflame. 

Desire. Gods, how long has it been since he’s allowed himself to desire something like this? Eleven years, perhaps more. And as the tiny ember of it glows to life inside him, he can feel other parts of himself stirring. An urge to have her closer. To strip her of the fabric covering all that warm, wonderful skin and to chase these feelings coursing through his body. To hear her laughter in the morning as he holds her tightly to his chest. 

Jester pulls him from his thoughts and right back into his body as she bites gently on his lip, tugging slightly as her fingers tangle in his long (thankfully clean) hair. Her movements are hesitant, like she’s afraid to hurt him, and Caleb pulls back from her lush mouth with some difficulty. He nudges his nose along her own, their breathing the only sound in the empty hallway. Caleb searches her face for any sign of disgust or being overwhelmed but he only finds desire mirrored back to him. She looks stunning with her short hair mused and cheeks flushed a dark shade of blue. He wants to see just how far that blush travels. 

Caleb tears his hands from her waist and instead braces himself on the dark wood of the door he’s pressed her against, caging her between his arms. He doesn’t mean it to be threatening and if she pushed against him, asked him to move, he would back away in an instant. But he hasn’t the strength yet to pull entirely away of his own accord. He wants to lean in and take more, coax further sounds out of her, see if she’s as quick a study in this as she is in everything else, but it’s not what she had asked for. She’d asked him because she foolishly trusted him and he had already made this about him and his desire. 

Caleb inhales sharply through his nose, trying to regain some of his footing but merely feels dizzy as he breathes in her scent. He drops his forehead to her own and closes his eyes, trying to ignore the feeling of her fingers brushing softly through his hair. Control has always been one of his greatest strengths. It’s what’s kept him alive this long despite the adversity and struggles he has faced. And yet here this woman stands, nestled in his arms and in his heart, able to rip away the control he spent so many years developing with just a few kisses. 

It’s exhilarating. 

And terrifying. 

And Caleb - 

Well, Caleb has never claimed to be a good man.

Jester makes another of those surprised sounds as he shifts his nose to trail down her cheek, his lips dragging further and further until it reaches the exposed skin of her neck. Caleb can see the small freckles dotted along the skin of her neck and shoulders. He presses a sweet kiss there even as he memorizes those tantalizing freckles. He had considered his ability to remember everything a curse but tonight it feels more like a gift as he sears the constellations across her skin to memory. “Please,” she whispers out, and Caleb wonders if she knows what she’s asking for, if she’s seen this before from her time locked in her mother’s tower. He groans deep in his chest, unable to keep the sound from escaping into the air between them, and presses an open-mouthed kiss to her throat as his fingers move to twist in her own short hair, tilting her head back to offer more of her to his exploring lips. The desire had now turned into a full-blown blaze burning him from the inside out. 

“You like this,” he muses against her skin, wonder coloring his words as he licks and bites at her. Caleb knows he should stop. This is… So much more than he’d intended. But he can hear little hitches in her breathing every time he scrapes his blunt teeth against her clavicle or when he kisses up the slope of her neck and he’s finding it difficult to remember why he should stop. Jester certainly doesn’t seem to mind as she arches into him, her hands gripping at his shoulders and anchoring them together. 

She moans softly, closer to a sigh than anything else, and whispers, “Caleb.” His hands slide from her hair to gently cup the sides of her flushed face as he checks that she is still interested, that she is still satisfied. The look he receives in response is one of burning desire and, oddly enough, happiness. He huffs out a quiet laugh. Jester is the only woman who could go from such intense passion to something softer, more intimate in the span of seconds. He leans back towards her mouth in another kiss that is slower than the rest. It feels different and his grip on her changes to something more gentle. Reverent. 

He allows himself a few more moments of this sweetness, of his hands holding her with a tenderness he did not believe himself capable of after all these years, before pulling back enough to catch her eyes. Jester smiles and presses a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

Caleb clears his throat and feels heat crawl up his skin. How he could be embarrassed after practically ravaging her in the halls, he has no idea, but Jester’s always had a talent of making him an awkward fool. “Ja, well that was…” he begins slowly, working the words over in his mind as Jester interrupts cheerfully, “Awesome. We’re totally going to do that again, okay?” 

\---

“Caleb?” an accented voice interrupts his reading days later in another low-lit tavern. Caleb lifts his eyes slowly, feeling his skin heat the way it has every time he’s laid eyes on the tiefling since their encounter.

“Ja?” he murmurs, wondering if any of their companions have noticed the tension between them. It’s felt suffocating over the last few days, time spent around fires and crammed in the small back of the wagon, but he thinks that his friends aren’t the most perceptive - excluding Caduceus, who had seen them both the next morning and offered a small smile and a nod. Caleb has no idea how or what the firbolg knows, but it feels weirdly nice to have his approval. 

Jester’s cheeks are dark with embarrassment as she fiddles with the symbol of her deity. “I was thinking… That I need more, um, practice. I mean, you know, for comparison and stuff.” Caleb watches her anxious little movements and the nervous smile playing across her lips. He’s speaking his answer even before he has time to process and sort through what is smart, what is safe for them. 

“Ja, I think so. For comparison, of course,” he agrees quietly, his lips twitching up into a slight smile that feels reserved just for her.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from. I pretty much just saw some gorgeous art by @bealuser on twitter. No joke, saw her art and finished the last episode and just spiraled into this ship. I am so happy to be on this ride though and I'm going to just write everything I'm feeling about this pair. 
> 
> Liebling, according to google translate, means 'darling' in German. I want all the whispered Zemnian words as he worships at the altar of Jester. Amen.
> 
> Edit: @Bealuser on twitter did a drawing based off a sentence in this piece. I'm incredibly flattered, thank you SO MUCH. [Go follow this amazing human](https://twitter.com/bealuser/status/1076735285780635648?s=21)


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